....don't ever, ever use the Parrot Fish.




You plot all parameters into the AUTOCAD machine...load decent legroom, headroom, bootspace, some supposedly aerodynamics. Then later spruce it up with a colourful bodykit and you will surely get this.


So please. Please start with something like a Goddamn killer whale or a majestic Basking Shark. Imagine the front grille if this were a car.

I love our country. Most of us are bilingual and a lot are tri-lingual. Of course this means English is definitely a second language or tongue to most. As such, advertisements are hilarious. But if you take them seriously, buy these cars and get FREE ACCIDENT. Instead of being 'Accident Free' you get a bonus.



The adverts you see here come from three different advertisers. One of them has more than 5 FREE ACCIDENTS for sale. I wonder if they have sold any of these cars. Who wouldn't want a car with 'free accidents'?

My friend Firdaus has pointed me to another great prospect on mudah.my. What we have here is marketed to the buying public as a Nissan GTR. Yes, you motorheads would know it as a bloody fast car but not in any way like this. This one surprisingly looks like a truck. It is a Nissan nonetheless.

Of course putting 'GTR' in every Nissan adds some sort of mileage or marketing stunt. Or so one thinks.

The original advert is here (until mudah takes it down of course)....ad details are below:

Lori nissan 2.0 manual petrol.
Tahun 2002 .
1 owner.
Untuk di jual segera.
Rm22800...boleh runding...
Call zh automobil ent.
013 706253xx.
012 72502xx.

....or was is OMG? This clearly shows the owner's vision and that why bother buying a proper Mercedes AMG CLA45 (which is the smallest AMG sedan these days) when all you need is a Datsun, errr Nissan 130y.

What you don't see in the photo is there was smoke coming from only one of its twin tail pipes. OMG is more like it. And the 'y' in the 130y must now stand for...Why? Misplaced passion is why. Save up and keep this car standard. OMG instead of AMG indeed.

Some of them Malaysian car salesmen really need help folks. And there has to be some education towards people who somehow think that a PERODUA MVYI is a 'sports car' as it came up on one of my searches for 'sports car'.

Either they do not know what a sports car actually is (think Mazda MX-5 or a Lotus Elise) OR they think super highly of their Malaysian made compact car.
Then again, when I scrolled further down after the Peugeot RCZ, an actual sports car and some Golf GTi (which STILL isn't a sports car but a hot hatchback) a Proton Waja with a bodykit came up. No. NO. NO. NO. NO. A sporty bodykit does not make the shopping trolley a sports car okay. In fact, nearly everything on the list wasn't a 'sports car'. Sigh.

And so, this week's lesson is the definition of 'Sports Car' - A sports car (sportscar or sport car) is a small, usually two seat, two door automobile designed for spirited performance and nimble handling. Sports cars may be spartan or luxurious but high maneuverability and minimum weight are requisite. 

Now do you guys feel even more educated than before? Will you help us save Malaysians from thinking that throwing in a set of sports rims or a bodykit will make their shopping trolleys into sports cars? I hope you will do so.

Remember folks, education is important. And a Myvi isn't a sports car....This fact is more important.

I like browsing the classifieds, namely Mudah.my which I believe is the best place for Malaysians to go car hunting whilst online. You can find the used car of your dreams here but sometimes, you can't help but wonder how genuine or trustworthy is the salesman who posted the ad over there. The ad stated herein is proof why one should always personalise their ads and not use the 'Cut and Paste' function if you really, really want to sell the car. Would you believe the advert details after looking at the photograph above? I highlighted the important parts below.

MERCEDES BENZ 260E ( A ) " W 124 " FUEL INJECTION ! 1989 ' 

- 1 HAJI OWNER !
- MEGA SPEC ! 
- OWNER UPGRADED TO MERCEDES BENZ E200 ! 
- FULL LEATHER SEATS 
- CD PLAYER 
- 4 X POWER WINDOW 
- POWER MIRROR 
- TWIN CAM ENGINE 
- 15 " ALLOY WHEELS AND MANY EXTRAS MORE ! 
- WELL KEPT ! 
- GUARANTEE ACCIDENT FREE !
- ORIGINAL FACTORY 2 TONE PAINT ! 
- SEE TO BELIEVED ! 
- WE ACCEPT TRADE IN !
- BROKER ARE WELCOME ! 


photo: mudah.my

No. It isn't. What we actually have here folks is a 1989-1995 Ford Laser KF series. But according to all the badges that are plastered on its tailgate it is a concoction of a Lexus Mitsubishi TypeR GSL ART (whatever that means).

This sort of stuff happens very often in our society. We all have dreams of owning a Ferrari or the cars stated at the rear of this pedestrian Ford but sticking a badge on such a car does not make it any of the above. It still is a normal bread and butter piece of transport. It is better than walking or taking the bus. But that's about it.

Another issue with sticking such outrageous badging on a measly Ford is the fact that I do believe that it wasn't the lady who was driving the car that did this blasphemous act but her husband (or son). No scarf wearing Malay 'Makcik' would bother doing up her Ford Laser into the abomination it is today. So we now have a FordSubishiLexus Laser GSL ART TypeR. Doesn't it take your breathe away?

And what is the moral of this posting? The moral is that there are people who will look at what you've done to your car and it is fine if you are driving it yourself and not your wife or mother. Of course they might be oblivious to the fact that they are the source of humour and scorn but I actually pity them nonetheless.

Next time. Do not mod your wife's or mother's car until it looks utterly silly and make them look a little silly driving it too. I may take a photograph of it.