Some Things That I Have Learnt.

I’ve learnt a few things recently that I wish to share with all of you readers out there. I learnt these things from a recent trip to Butterworth which is located in the state of Pulau Pinang a couple of weeks ago.

1. A mid-morning run at speeds above 155km/h on the North-South Highway during a dry spell leads to a ridiculous amount of tire wear. I had a set of rears that were 85% worn. I honestly thought that they would last till the trip back to KL. Unfortunately, by the time I reached Bukit Merah, there was no sign left of the ‘V’ groove thread pattern left on the rears. It was completely bald. I had to get a new pair of tires in Butterworth when I got there.

The moral of this story is that change tires before you go someplace far.

2. Your car may have a large fuel tank. But at speeds above the century, it needs a larger tank. I have a 50 liter tank in my Impreza and for a trip that has speeds averaging a century, petrol freely drains out. ¼ tank was left before I reached Cangkat Jering, nearby Taiping with another 45 minutes or so of driving to do before Butterworth.

The moral of this story is that you should either get a car with a larger tank or drive slowly or don’t bother and just stop when you feel like it and reach someplace faster than taking a flight.

3. Your bladder may not be as large as you wanted it to be. It was during this trip that I found out that some bladders last longer than most. I had to have a ‘pit-stop’ to alleviate this problem.

The moral of this story is that you and your car may be able to make Butterworth in less than 3 hours. But your occupants cannot.

4. Fat people look fatter wearing crocs on their feet.

There was this 30 something couple which I happened to observe at the Gunung Semanggol rest area (somewhere near Bukit Merah). They were decently dressed in the national dress. The man was wearing the Baju Kurung Melayu and songkok and his wife was wearing the baju kurung with her hair done up in a bun. Both looked immaculate in pink and were slightly on the plus size. They looked immaculate until I came upon their feet, which were housed in a pair of crocs each.

Why do some people spoilt their silhouette but putting on chunky looking footwear when they are CHUNKY themselves? It somehow makes a round ball look even rounder if there ever was such a thing. This guy and his wife looked even rounder than he ever was. He also spoilt his whole Baju Melayu look as he would look like an overweight Hang Tuah wearing the ‘chapal’ instead of looking like Bozo The Clown. Yes, that was what the guy looked in my eyes. A BIG FAT CLOWN.

Look, CROCS are extremely chunky. They SEEM comfortable but they do not give you any real support as the rubber squishes when you put pressure on them. They don’t keep your spine aligned properly and if you are a motorhead, they are too chunky to be proper driving shoes. You can never properly heel and toe or even left foot brake in those clown shoes. Spend money, buy some proper Italian loafers with a driving sole (the one that has a sole curves all the way to the top of your heel). Tod’s driving shoes come to mind or even the PUMA speedcat series. Heck, or buy some cheap BATA driving mocs. I will respect you better than wearing fat Crocs on your way to a wedding up North. I shudder at the thought that the couple was driving to a wedding all done up in formal/national wear and wearing Crocs to attend that wedding. It made them look so underdressed. It’s like going to a black-tie function in a pair of sneakers. Also, FAT people shouldn’t wear fat looking shoes. Period. You can find comfort while looking good okay.

I once bought a pair of imitation CROCS that cost me RM10.00. That is as much money as I would spend for a chunky pair of clown slippers. I wear them when I have to walk to the garbage disposal room to throw garbage and even then I think I look crappy in them. Cheaper flip-flops look better on me.

The moral of the story is that if you are fat, for the love of God stay away from CROCS.

http://ihatecrocs.com

Image of crocs: courtesy of : maddox.xmission.com

If the fat guy in the painting wore crocs that were pink in colour, he would certainly be one ugly fat clown.